Love like what the hell does it even mean?
We understand it when it comes to the people we are born into. Our mother’s, father’s, children. That type of love – although challenging sometimes – you typically do not have to question that love.
But what about a mate in life? Do we really ever find the “one”?
I really don’t know the answer to that question, but what I do know – is that maybe we need to stop seeking the one and become the “one”.
I will have to elaborate on that cause at this point, you are probably looking at yourself and thinking – dam girl – I am the “one”. But are you? How honest are you in your current relationship? Do you expect honesty yet not give it? Do you continue to seek a “better” lover because you “deserve” one? Let’s be real people! Are you candid with your loved ones? Do you express your feelings? Do you even know who YOU are? I mean really DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?
Having a relationship will not validate you as a person. Self discovery is hard, but one of the most rewarding and satisfying things you could ever accomplish. Most of my life was spent dedicated to the needs of others – and now I am discovering my own needs, my own desires.
My insecurities are always heightened in a relationship. But do you know why? Because I was always the chameleon in the relationship. Bending and turning to accommodate the needs of the men I wanted to be with. Like look at me – I am perfect for you. But that is fake. Things that we do to “impress” a mate are really just a deceptive way for us chameleons to get the mate they want – then wonder why we aren’t happy. Well dumb ass we aren’t happy because we are doing what THEY want and not what I want.
And y’all know what I am talking about too. In the dating scene we all have a tendency to pretend to be something we are not to impress the date, and even modifier our normal behaviors because it is a date.
I, as well, am guilty of this, but no more. Moving forward any dates will be conducted with 100% raw and unedited me, because that is who I am – the true me – and that is the one I want the next one to fall in love with. Not the edited, and cleaned version.
I found true love.
True, unconditional love.